literature

Insanity

Deviation Actions

ArtCrusade's avatar
By
Published:
666 Views

Literature Text

Excerpt from a conversation between Jebediah Morrow and his friend and companion Marc Miller.

~

"Insanity, my dear friend Marc? You want to know about insanity?"

Marc nodded from his chair. "It is something that has bothered me for quite some time now, Jebediah. What must it feel like to lose your mind? Do you know?"

Jebediah, who had sat comfortably in one of his old armchairs rose to his feet. He treaded over the heavy rug which covered the parquet, down towards the window. 

Following the birds with his eyes he said: "Insanity, Marc. If you had known just as little as 'something' about it, you would not have dared ask." He turned around gazing into Marc's eyes. For a second, blazing rubies filled his deep eye-sockets. The moment passed.

Jebediah let out an exasperated sigh. "Let me try and give you an idea of what insanity means, or at least, what it appears to be."

"For some it all begins with voyeurism. They look through the keyhole of the door that is labeled 'knowledge' and see but blackness. Unlike that of the night, this one is palpable. And once it vanishes, they note that rather than being observers, they were being stared at!"

"And then there is those few foolish enough to try and open that door. They shake the knob, wheeze, and curse. Finally, they gather their strength and crash it open - and what do they see?" Jebediah looked intently into his friend's eyes. He spun around and paced towards a door which Marc had not noticed before. With a swift motion he opened it.

Behind the door stood a mighty mirror.

"They see themselves."
The inspiration for this short story came from a monologue I wrote during a train ride and listening to Cypress Hill's 'Insane in the Brain'. I am very happy with how it turned out and might develop a story around it! 

EDIT: Contest winner: fav.me/d7dwqkn :la:

EDIT: Revised! 
Comments14
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
LadyKuonji's avatar
This is a truly interesting concept of insanity. It makes me ask; are those who are insane really insane?

When I critique things I rarely focus on the technique of something (since I suck at spelling, grammar, and all things technical of writing). This will go the same thing with this story. 

It was well written. It made me think more than most short stories. The characters though flat showed some rounded qualities. Ex) Marc being curious about the unknown, Jebediah showing older or knowledge that only age and wisdom can provide. This would make a wonderful intro to any story (longer ones like novellas or novels). Also I am not going to harp on plot and subplot and conflict since it is starring me in the face. One wants to know what insanity is the other knows, there done end of story. This is very short sweet but well paced and I hope you continue with it. 

In conclusion this is a good short story, well written with interesting characters and flowing plot. Sure it is alittle rough around the edges but that is to be expected with any story. I hope you expand on this idea and keep writing!

Your Lady,
Kuonji

Vision 4.5
Originality 5
Technique 5
Impact 4.75